Football is more than just a game. A phrase you, no doubt, will have heard countless times before, and one that has perhaps become the ultimate football cliché. But, for many, it is the truth. Going to a football match is an escape from the trials and tribulations of life, where thousands of people come together to cheer and chant, or moan and groan, in unison. The feeling of community within a stadium full of strangers is powerful enough, but attending games alongside someone important to you can bring a whole different experience. Whether it be a family member or a friend, relationships can be upheld or built on the foundations of watching what some simply consider to be men kicking a bag of air around for 90 minutes. But seriously, it’s more than just that.
Simon Lloyd is a football writer and life-long Manchester United fan, who attended games with his Dad, on and off, for two and a half decades. He was made aware of United from an early age and, at times, in quite trivial ways. One of his earliest memories is that of his Dad pointing out a wood pigeon settled on the fence of their back garden, claiming that its distinctive three syllable coo was actually saying ‘United’. Such moments made Simon aware of this thing called ‘United’, but he didn’t yet understand exactly what it meant.
He said: “It was a steady drip-feeding of information about the club until I was interested enough to go to my first game. My Dad would always bring programmes back from games and leave them by my bedside for me to see in the morning. Most of the time early on I’d ignore it, but eventually it got to the point where I started taking an interest and flicking through a few of the pages.”
In 1993, at the age of seven, Simon’s Dad decided his son was ready to attend his first United match. On the pitch, it was far from the most thrilling of games. A 0-0 draw against Ipswich on a cold November night, where stars such as Eric Cantona and Bryan Robson, who Simon had heard so much about, failed to break the deadlock. A huge rarity at Old Trafford in the 90’s under Sir Alex Ferguson. But it was a moment after the game that sticks in Simon’s memory.
He recalled: “I remember getting back to the car park at Trafford Park and I was getting into the car and I said to Dad ‘are we going again’ and he stopped, as if he’d been waiting for me to ask that for a while.
“It was a baltic night, a 0-0 draw, but after that I was desperate to go again. I was hooked.”
Throughout his teenage years, Simon experienced a sometimes fractious relationship with his Dad, who was also a teacher at his school.
“You go through a strange phase with your dad in your teenage years. I think every father/son relationship hits this kind of awkward age where you start naturally rebelling against your parents a bit and questioning the authority they have.”
Despite this, Simon says he didn’t stop attending games with his Dad, and it was all put aside for the couple of hours spent together in the stands.
“Going to the football was like a truce. It helped to preserve that relationship.”
Throughout his time at university, Simon started going to games with his mates more often, and going out afterwards to enjoy the Manchester nightlife. However, a pivotal moment came after United beat Chelsea in the 2008 Champions League final.
“Me and a few mates got tickets for a screening at the Manchester Arena. During the day we went to the student union in Manchester, had a few beers and a chinese, then had some drinks after the game as well and it was great.
“My Dad picked us up at about 1 or 2 in the morning. When I spoke to him in the car, it struck me then that he’d watched it all on his own and I felt really guilty about it.
“He said he’d recorded a load of the reaction and asked if I wanted to watch some of it with him. I had a hangover starting already by this point, but I ended up staying up with him for a few hours and watching the highlights and stuff with him, drinking more beer.
“It was after that I decided, you know what, I want to watch United with my Dad now.
“You become aware of how few opportunities there would be to do that in the future so I stepped away from going with my mates to get back into a steady routine of going with my Dad again.”
When asked for any specific moments throughout his time of watching United alongside his Dad that stuck out, Simon struggled. Going every week had become so much of a routine, that the collective experience was more of a memory than any particular day or goal. Although, he did manage to recall one wholesome interaction from 2013.
“There was a lovely moment after the Aston Villa game where Van Persie scored a hat-trick and we won the league.
“He told me how much he enjoyed being able to come and see these sort of nights with me.
“That always stood out for me, because we haven’t won the league since, and I know that when we win the league again I’ll be an absolute wreck thinking of that moment.
“It felt significant because he became quite poorly after that. It was another 3 or 4 years before it stopped him going, but in reality he was already a sick man.”
Simon attended his last game with his Dad at the end of the 2017/2018 season, with the latter taking a step back from games due to ill health. However he did attempt to go back by himself.
“I went back the next season, convincing myself it would be fine, but it was really weird. I had been dreading going back all summer because I knew someone else would be in his seat and that would be difficult. I realised it wasn’t quite the same.”
Simon’s Dad passed away in November 2019, by which time he had already stopped attempting to brave the stands without his usual partner alongside him.
“Towards the end my Dad had dementia, and that was really hard. But then occasionally he’d suddenly get his expression back, and you’d know he was back in the room, and he’d ask me how United are getting on.”
Simon only returned to Old Trafford in April 2021, to take his son to a game. While he says he enjoyed it, questions of ‘when are we going home’ perhaps suggest it’s a bit too early for him to be going regularly.
But, there will likely come a time when Simon does return to reside regularly at Old Trafford, just with a new partner at his side. The tradition shall continue and new memories will be made. What happens on the pitch will be of little importance, what will matter most is the company with whom it’s enjoyed. Legendary manager Arrigo Sacchi once said “football is the most important of the least important things in life.” Perhaps even he understated its importance.
A Parents View
Whilst Simon’s attendance as a parent himself is yet to be made regular, one parent who is already deep into that routine is mum of two, and fellow lifelong United fan, Usmaa Choudry.
She goes to Old Trafford regularly with her two sons, 10 and 17, and has been doing so since full stadium capacity was allowed again after lockdown.
Usmaa says her relationship with her sons has been reinforced by going to United games together, especially when it comes to her eldest.
She said: “He’s a 17-year-old boy and normally a 17-year-old boy doesn’t want to go out with his Mum. It’s not really a normal thing for a teenager to want to do that, but with football he does.
“Without football, there’s no other way we would spend that time together.”
One of the next big milestones in Usmaa’s life as a mother is her eldest son heading off to university, but she hopes United will ensure they continue to see each other regularly.
“It is scary for me as a mother. I didn’t want him to go too far. He has applied for Leeds, Sheffield, Liverpool places like that. I asked him why he had done that and he said ‘so I can get back for United’. I was pleased to hear that.”
Usmaa also credits football and United as being the perfect gateway to allow her to connect with her sons on a deeper level.
“Teenagers in general, or teenage boys even more so, don’t come to you and ask for a chat.
“I’ve been away recently and the first question isn’t ‘how was your week, tell me about your feelings’, it’s ‘how was Fulham?’ because he went to the game against Fulham without me.
“So we speak about the game and then that sort of conversation then leads on to ‘how are you’ and ‘I love you’, things like that.”
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